If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
