Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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