time to smoke my breakfast
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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