I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
