i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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