hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize