to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
they're like a gay fantastic four
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
