Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
