how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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