i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Every concussion has its silver lining
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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