Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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