You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
