dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
