Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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