I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
