She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
