I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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