You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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