So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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