I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
