Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
