We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
