According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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