No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
