Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
either way he was missing a nipple.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
