why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
