just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
