break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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