I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
