He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
