you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
