I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
