so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize