Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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