So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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