Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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