I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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