me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
