Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
