Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
