Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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