# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
