matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
honey bunches of taint.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
