If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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