Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize