worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
