i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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