So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
