Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i dont even know how to be here
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
