No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
