soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
