Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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