so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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