I accidentally had phone sex last night
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
