Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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