what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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