i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
