Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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