I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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